Friday, October 16, 2015

The Importance of Family


Lauren West
10/16/14
P. 4

The Importance of Family


          Like most things, with family you get the good and the bad. Hopefully, if you're like me it's mostly just the good, but to face the facts, things don't always go so smoothly. I find this to be especially true if you have siblings like me. I'm the youngest of three kids just like my mom and my dad and being the little sister of a 19 year old boy and a 17 year old girl isn't always so easy. Things have certainly changed over the years as my brother went of to college at U.N.H. last August and now my sister has begun the seemingly endless search for the perfect school herself (I can safely bet it won't be U.N.H). As my time before becoming a single child grows shorter I've realized three things; I can't wait to have the bathroom all to myself, It's possible to grow more from a bad experience than a good one, and I really love my family. If you haven't read stone soup by Barbara Kingsolver, a recently divorced single mother, I highly recommend it if you want to think a little deeper into the subject of what makes a family a family. In my opinion family isn't only a group of people related to you, but people who truly want to teach you and help you succeed in life. In all honesty how many of us always love our parents and never fight with our siblings? I know, as I grew up with the  captain of the wrestling team, that there have certainly been a few times in which I've wanted to fight back against my siblings. Instead I would take times like being thrown over my brothers shoulders, and learn from them. I became stronger as I got myself out of sticky situations and even learned a few wrestling moves. The book A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith also stresses the importance of making the best out what you have. Betty's writing in this book emphasizes  how although the two main characters have a hard life, they have each other and get through it together.

      When I first looked at Stone Soup by Babara Kingsolver I mostly thought about how long it was and how boring it would be. Although it may not be the most interesting thing I've ever read it certainly made me think in about things I don't typically address. Right off the bat her essay begins with a story of a soccer game of a boy from a blended family. Barbara writes, "I dare anybody to call this a broken home"(Kingsolver). Barbara implies that even though this boy has a step mom and his parents are divorced, to the little boy he simply has the largest cheering squad in the bleachers. Smith's essay continues by discussing how times are changing. She mentions, "Divorce, remarriage, single parenthood, gay parents, and blended families simply are"(Kingsolver). She admits that in the past even she thought divorce was wrong. She now realizes that sometimes staying together would do more damage than breaking apart. She's had to grow from his change in her life, but out of letting go of her husband she also lets go of some ignorance. Barbara writes about he daughters' transition through the divorce writing, "When anyone asks how she feels about it, she spontaneously lists the benefits: our house is in the country and we have a dog, but she can go to her dad's neighborhood for the urban thrills of a pool and sidewalks for roller-skating. What's more, she has three sets of grandparents!"(Kingsolver). When she writes this I think back to my theory on how tough times make tougher people, and the little boy at the soccer game, and how times are changing. All of these things Barbara writes about start from a bad thing, but create something possibly so good it was worth it. The boys parents aren't together, yet he has more people cheering for him. Divorce may not seem like a good idea but it can be a way out of a relationship that just keeps going downhill. Lastly this little girl, I'm sure she's upset over her parents divorce but she can still see the beauty of the new things in her life. Barbara's essay Stone Soup relates to families all over the world, separated or not we all need a little light in the darker times.

        The book A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith adds to my point of getting through tough times with your family. The main family of the story, the Nolans, know a lot about getting through the hardships of life. This coming of age story mainly follows Francie Nolan and her family throughout their life in Brooklyn. The Nolans are very poor and sometimes didn't have enough money to buy food, Betty writes,"When money gave out and food ran low, Katie and the children pretended they were explorers discovering the North Pole and had been trapped by a blizzard in a cave with just a little food...When some money came in and Mama bought a lot of groceries, she bought a little cake as celebration, and she'd stick a penny flag in it and say, 'We made it, men. We got to the North Pole"(Smith 218). During the time of this quote the Nolans were financially struggling. They had little money and Francie and Neeley (her brother), made a game out of their situation. Years later Francie and Neeley are discussing their sisters future with Mr.McShane as a father. Smith writes, "Laurie's going to have a mighty easy life all right'. 'Annie Laurie McShane! She'll never have the hard times we had, will she?' ' No. And she'll never have the fun we had, either.' 'Gosh! We did have fun, didn't we, Neeley?' 'Yeah!' 'Poor Laurie,' said Francie pityingly"(Smith 472). Near the ending of the book even though Francie and Neeley both had hard lives they can't help but feel bad for their little sister who won't have joy come as easily to her. They recognize how hard they had it growing up and now that life's become simpler they can't help but miss the old days with the North Pole game.Francie and Neeley Nolan understand what it's like to make the best out of the worst. 

    Families are so different that it's crazy to even attempt to make a statement that applies to all of them. My family is different from any other family in the would, and I'm grateful for that.I've learned that you can't change the past, things happen that we can't control. Every scream, fight, and tear was worth making me who I am today. Although life may not be as glamorous as it looks on T.V., being proud of what I've been through and the people who have helped me get to where I am is enough to keep me going. So yes, I might get in a small fight with my sister, or make a bad decision every now and then, but if everyone were perfect how would we ever learn? So what does family mean to me? Family is people who push you, and tease you. They might make you laugh, cry, or question your purpose in this world, but in the long run they've got your back and only want what's best for you. I don't have any idea where I'd be without my family but what I do know is I'm happy that I have them in my life.

Thanks for reading!
Until next time,
Lauren West :)

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